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Supporters & Cheerleaders, The True Value of Friendship

There is no joy in having friends or so called friends who don’t support your career, hustle or the things you are passionate about. What is the point of saying or calling someone your friend if they don’t add any value to your life or bring anything positive to the so-called friendship table. If your “friends” aren’t in front supporting and cheering you on, can you really call them your friends or are they simply your colleagues or mere acquaintances?

As an artiste, if your so-called friends don’t play your songs or hype/promote you any opportunity they get or whenever they can, then they aren’t really your friends. Or your music MUST be really wack and they don’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you. If your friends are in the second category then they are not real friends either because a TRUE friend would always tell you the blunt truth.

If you have a friend who works on radio as a disc jockey (DJ) or On air personality (OAP) and they don’t even try to make a case for your music/song to receive airplay or try to play your songs, it means your music is not up to par and you should look for another career. Or they are not your friends but acquaintances, and you have to shed the weight and cast them off.

Now if they say your song isn’t up to par or not the type/kind they play at their station or gigs and yet they won’t give you pointers or clues on what to do to get your music airplay or how to make good/better songs then please avoid such people because they are only fair weather friends or mere hangers on not real friends.

If your friend(s) knows your hustle or business and has a lead to a job opportunity or a contract that you are qualified for and doesn’t put your name forward, give you a reference or intimate you about it please let such friends go. There’s is no time to waste energy on one sided friendships or relationships.

Every relationship MUST be symbiotic to work especially in the music industry, and as an artiste albeit an upcoming or emerging one, you need all the symbiotic relationships you can get to help you further your career. Even though an ideal friendship/relationship is supposed to be 50/50, but as long as it is mutually beneficial, 60/30, 70/30 or even 80/20 works.

If your friend(s) only remember to call you when they need a free ticket/pass to get into an event or a favour, or time to party, drink, spend money or stay out late every day of the week, but when it’s time for business meetings or gatherings that will be of benefit to your career, business/hustle or life, they conveniently forget you exist or choose to ignore you, and not involve you please let these so “called friends” go.

In friendship the ratio of give and take may not always be equal, but there is always give/take or take/give not just give-give or take-take, both parties usually have a mutually beneficial relationship which helps every relationship thrive. If a relationship isn’t symbiotic, but parasitic, then the chances of it blossoming is nil.

Sometimes people assume automatically that supporting a friend means doing so materially or financially. Support can come in different forms, it could be words of advice or mentioning them for a job, standing in as guarantor or as referee for them. It can be tagging them in a job opening tweet or post or paying for their fare to get to an appointment or buying fuel in their car or playing their music on radio or even helping them write an application. Support can be in different ways and means.

For an artiste, support can be streaming their music, buying their album, sharing their song links, posting about their music, telling your followers or people you interact with to listen to their music. Support doesn’t always have to cost a thing, sometimes all it requires is a repost or share on your social media page/account or word of mouth promotion.

Most people often tend to forget that word of mouth referrals, promotions and advertising is one of the most potent forms of support you can give anyone you call your “friend”, random and unsolicited support verbal is always the best.

But if you call someone your friend and you don’t take any steps to cheer them on, support them or clap for them when they win, especially if/when they ask for that support, then that friendship should be dissolved pronto.

Years ago I remember a friend of mine was applying for a job but didn’t know how to write an application so he asked me for help. I gave him pointers on how to write the application, but he insisted that I write it for him to copy. He went further to ask that I also stand as guarantor too, which I did, and he got the job.

I remember him saying we should hang out when he received his first salary and buying us drinks and he also gave me money for fuel too. One day I was stranded and the same friend was the one who gave me a ride to my destination and waited till I was done and then drove me home again. He did that several times till the day he died. May his soul rest in peace.

The point I am trying to make is that help or support for friends doesn’t always mean help financially, though these days most people quantify friendship with how much you can give them or they can get from you. Most people these days prefer the short term support of being given money as opposed to non financial support, and as long as your support is you giving them money, it’s taken for granted and not valued.

A lot of people don’t know the difference between a colleague, an acquaintance and a friend. Some think/assume their colleagues at work are their friends. Some meet someone only at bars, nightclubs or at events and the next thing they call them friends.

As an artiste pray for discernment to be able to know who your good/true/real friends are so you can also reciprocate in any way you can to their attention, care, love and support because in life the measure you give often times is easier to get back.

Know your true ‘friends’, be able to differentiate your friend(s) from your colleagues and acquaintances. Make smarter decisions, discard those who don’t fit in your life and embrace those who always support you in any way they can and any chance they get.

And remember Like YUNG6IX said “The difference between the rich and the poor is everybody’s decision”.

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