Every relationship is built, nutured, groomed and kept alive with constant sacrifices, forgiveness, patience, understanding, giving, letting go and overlooking lots of stuff. In the music and entertainment industry just like in politics, there are no permanent liaisons or friendships only permanent interests. But just like in every sphere of life alliances and relationships we make/build along the way often times determine how far we go or the reach we have.
For any relationship to survive and stand the test of time both parties must be prepared to be a fool for the other at one point in the relationship. No business and/or personal relationships will grow or survive if it is not symbiotic. One cannot keep giving while another keeps receiving. Same way with an artiste and the manager, if the relationship is all good but without mutual respect, loyalty and aligned interests it will fail. And sometimes this leads to bad blood between people who were formerly team mates.
Sometimes you have to forgive, sometimes you have to forgo, sometimes you have to let go and sometimes you have to give in to make it work, but never give up. Sometimes you have to be the understanding one who overlooks certain things to keep the peace. Sometimes you have to be firm and speak without any Gold’s barred. Sometimes an artiste won’t want to hear it but for him/her to get better at their craft, someone has to say it. The manager doubles as both a friend and confidant too at times.
Being a fool in a relationship can mean that you are the one who spends/pays bills whenever you guys/girls hang out. Or the one who always takes the blame when things go wrong. Or whose car is the designated ride whenever you guys are rolling. Or the one who always rides shotgun and calls the shots even when you aren’t the one in charge. Or the one whose house is always the designated meeting point or set out rendezvous. Or the one who always has to walk up and talk to the ladies/guys to ask them over to your corner or table. Hehehe
At times letting go means you are the one who will forgo the girl/guy you like because your best friend claims she/he likes/loves her/him. Or the one who lets your friend use your car because he/she needs to take his/her girl/boy friend out. Sometimes giving means you are the one who always buys fuel in the car while your friend always provides the ride. Or the one whose clothes/shoes/jewellery get worn or whose house is the regular venue for house parties and sleep overs.
Sometimes being a good/best friend may mean you are the one parents blame for spoiling their son/daughter while not knowing it’s mutual between you girls/guys… ?? lool
Am sure at one point we have all experienced one of our friends’ parents or family member beefing you or telling you to stop being friends with their children/siblings cos they feel you are a bad influence on them while not knowing your parents also think the same of their child too.. hahahaha!!
We all have different experiences, but in the end if we look at it and those friends who have stuck with us through the years we will realize our stories have the same ending. Sometimes best friends started out as rivals or on opposite sides, then something happens and they click like tea and bread. Sometimes it takes one incident or experience to bring people closer or tear them apart.
We all have people we have been friends with for a long time even from childhood. We have friends we met in high school or University that are still in our lives. We have friends who are like family who we have forgotten that they are just friends whom we share everything with and who will lie and literally kill for us or for our sake.
Sometimes we often take our friends for granted till they are gone or till it is too late to tell them or show them how much we appreciate and value them.
My definition of friendship is simple: those people who see your imperfections, sees through your facade and knows all your bad habits yet doesn’t mind being called your friend or walking the line with/for you.
Bob Marley said “Your Worst Enemy, Could Be Your Best Friend And Your Best Friend Your Worst Enemy.”
Friends are hard to find, well TRUE friends that is, so when you find that one friend who will swallow and condone your crappy ways and isn’t scared to call you out when you mess up, show them you care before it is too late.
All in all in FRIENDSHIP we always have to make sacrifices no matter how little, how small or how big to make the relationship work.
Remember we will all die but none knows how, when or where. So as an artiste always make friends who will always tell you the truth not what you want to hear. Build contacts and connections that will be beneficial to your career if not immediately some time in the future.
ARTISTE TIP OF THE DAY:
“HARDWORK never goes out of fashion but HUMILITY and LOYALTY will take you places even hard work can’t take you.”
All written articles and pieces are original works of Toks Asher Young except the quoted excerpts.